What Cardi B and Authentically Wed Have in Common

Last night, the Grammy’s award show was the topic on every timeline. From who won, to J-Lo’s Motown tribute, and Alicia Key’s capabilities as a host (and status as a homewrecker….I didn’t say it, the interwebs did)

But one of the top grabs of the night that many seem to have felt as if it were their own, was the Grammy for Best Rap Album to Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, better known as Cardi B.  Cardi B has been a topic of conversation for YEARS since her debut on reality show Love and Hip-Hop New York.  She’s known for her funny facial expressions, extremely candid speech (…yeah we’ll stick with candid lol), her marriage to Migos member, Offset, and, if you didn’t know her by all of that, her booming rap career.  People either love or hate her boisterous personality, but either way the world has been watching. 

Personally, she’s my secret ratchet obsession.  I don’t follow her heavily, but I do like a lot about her and her “brand,” especially how gif-able she is.

*gasp* A Christian who likes Cardi B?

Listen, on days when I need to remember I’m a boss, I blast “Money” like I have a grill in my mouth and know where the nearest traphouse is.

There are plenty of Believers who wouldn’t go near Cardi or anything she does with a 10-foot pole and to each his own on that.  I don’t really have time to tackle over-religiousity and hypocrisy while I’m on this lunch break.  

However, as for me, whether I like a person or not, I have a DEEP appreciation for anyone who is authentically them to their core. This way, I never have to guess what to expect and can set my interactions appropriately, and Cardi does just that.  I don’t like all her songs, I don’t agree with many things she does, and I don’t consume all of her content (though my thoughts of her doesn’t make her any less successful, which is a lesson we all need to learn!).  However, I celebrate any woman who is transparent about her high and lows and wins for being her, because winning for any other reason is not a win at all.

Vernique, what does this have to do with your title, sis?

Okay..sheesh. I’m getting to it.

Like Cardi B, Authentically Wed is like your [ever-so-slightly ratchet] corner of the internet where your play-cousin Vernique will be 100% real with you at all times. I relaunched Authentically Wed, not just because of my new (non-)marital status, but because of my new mental status. I posted on Instagram last month that I plan to be more authentic than I ever was before, because, in some ways, I was only being “authentic” to the extent that I was palatable to the Christian masses. But even Jesus in today’s context (and His own during his time on Earth) would likely be rejected from the Church so why should I fear the same fate?

I can’t lie, going through a divorce has challenged my perspective on relationships, the Body, and people in general.  You don’t come out of circumstances like mine unchanged, and the truth is you shouldn’t. Remaining unchanged by adverse experiences promotes repeated behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a cynic. I wholeheartedly still believe in healthy relationships (and my ability to have one) and the necessity of the Body, but I think some of the naivety is gone. I’ve restudied some things and I truly believe our cultural context has dictated the way we read and understand the Bible.

My point is, everything I say here you won’t agree with and I’m cool with that if you are.  I welcome respectful dissent because then we can talk and figure it out.  Everything I do you won’t like either, and I’m cool with that too.  I can’t live for you and you can’t live for me.  Truth be told the only difference between what I do and what you do is I’m willing to be transparent about it so others can relate, be encouraged, and hopefully be free.

Don’t get me wrong, I recognize I have a platform and desire to be honorable and responsible.  However, I will be me [periodt!]. I don’t know everything but I do my best to figure things out. So, come along for the ride…or don’t.  Either way I know God can do a lot more with authenticity than a pretender. With that being said, if you’re looking for real conversation and insight welcome, you found the right place.  If you’re looking for perfection, my dear, I invite you to click the little “x” at the top of your screen…cuz this ain’t it.

So, cheers to Cardi B for her Grammy win, and cheers to me finding my voice and learning not to care about how people receive it.

What are your thoughts?  Do you think the Church shys away from authenticity or hard conversations?  Do you expect a certain level of perfection from Christian Platforms?  I’d love to hear from you!

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