Who Has Their S%!t Together?

If you’ve known me for any period of time or read about my struggle with anxiety then you know I wrestle with perfectionism. As a Social Worker, I can literally tell you that specific trait’s origins and yet it is still something I’ve not conquered completely.  It manifests even worse when I compare myself to others and feel like I don’t have it “together” enough which, to be honest, what does that even mean?

When things started going south in my marriage, I couldn’t help but feel like a failure. I wanted to run and hide because I thought people would judge or reject me.  I felt like no one would want to listen to me, let alone be around me with this scarlet letter on my chest. 

I would run myself half-crazy wondering how people would react, when people would think it was okay for me to date again, what my family would say, or whether or not I should tell people. And while I was trying to make MY experience the most palatable to everyone else, everyone else was living their own lives the way they wanted to, mistakes and all, without regard to my opinion about it!

It didn’t take me long to shake off the shame and own my story because what I quickly found out was that…well…no one had room to talk. Actually, people were quite understanding.

I used to live in a false reality where eventually everyone “figured it out.” I believed that at a certain point in adulthood, you reach a pinnacle of enlightenment and maturity where you master being human (let’s all laugh together). But in the past almost year, God has put me in position to see a glimpse of the backstage of people’s lives.

I’ve sat at a table where 6 out of the 8 people present were divorced. I’ve met pastors who curse. I know worship leaders who struggle with all manners of sexual sin. I’ve met ministers who struggle to keep their faith and [seemingly] devout believers who live double [or triple] lives.

I’m not saying these things are okay and we should all live in whatever way we want.  However, trying to live the life of a Believer does not mean that you don’t fall, bad things don’t happen, or that you don’t have scars.  In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul mentions a “thorn” in his flesh that God did not take away no matter how many times he asked, but instead, reminded Paul that His Grace was enough to cover it. Theologians are not sure what this “thorn” was exactly; whether physical, mental, or otherwise, however, what we do know is, whatever it was, it was uncomfortable, a struggle, and challenged his walk as a Christian. 

We all have a thorn(s)! No one who has ever walked this Earth has found the cheat code to life except Jesus Himself.  I don’t care how much “they” dress it up, [human] perfectionism is a lie from the pits of hell, and if anyone tries to convince you otherwise so are they. Galatians 5:17 & Romans 7:15 detail this struggle, war even, between the flesh and Spirit which tells me that for as long as I’m human, there are going to be things about me that I will continue to wrestle with until I meet God face to face.

Now, the key word is to wrestle. Pastor LaBryant Friend once said, “if you’re not fighting [sin], it’s probably because you’re losing.” See, Grace is, in fact, sufficient, but it’s not just sufficient to cover our falls, it serves to empower us to choose against our sin nature.

Listen, life happens to EVERYONE, and it happens in different ways and garners different results. There is no need to feel ashamed of your story or your frailties.  No need to feel badly when someone seems to surpass you in an area you bust your butt in. As a matter of fact, double down on it, be real about it! Because I guarantee that the ones who would dare to judge, or those you think are triumphant in the areas where you are frail have their own s%!t, as life is no respecter of person.

It took me encountering other people’s real stories to put mine in perspective.  We all have our s%!t (yeah, I’m really milking this lol), but none of us is beyond redemption, none of us are unusable, unworthy, unlovable, without Hope, or required to be perfect.  Just Rest and Be [in Christ].

“Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling and present you faultless before His presence with exceeding Joy…” Jude 24:25

Do you struggle with feeling like others are perfect? Do you feel like others are doing better than you?

Comment below! I’d love to hear from you.