Beauty for Ashes: One Year After Divorce

I legitimately almost forgot this day was coming.

I’ve been working so hard on several projects, upcoming events, and securing multiple bags that I don’t hardly know the day of the week.

But what a blessing that is!

By the opinion of many and maybe statistics (I don’t know…I don’t check lol) I should not have accomplished what I have in the last year or be in the emotionally and spiritually healthy and stable place I’m in.

Many do not know, but on this day last year I was sitting in a mediator’s office with my lawyer, after having walked past my then-husband that I hadn’t seen since that September, praying down heaven that this entire experience would end without too much drama.

Several anxiety-inducing hours later I walked out officially single.

Two-years of marriage and 7 years of relationship gone….just like that.

But I was hopeful. I felt free and relieved.

I had work to do, too.

In the upcoming days I announced my divorce, and the official business formation of Vernique Esther & Co., LLC. On February 9th  the new website went live and the rest is history.

It has been a wild, crazy, beautiful, redeeming ride.

I remember in October 2018, as I unpacked my new one-bedroom apartment, I heard the voice of God interrupt my anxious thoughts and say, “If you let go, I’ll make your latter greater than your former.” He has not shown Himself to be a liar yet.

I never thought in a million years I would be selling-out events, leading a community of almost 2.4k beautiful people, managing several teams, and preparing for groundbreaking launches…but God knew.

I don’t believe divorce was His will, but when He said He causes ALL things to work together for the Good of those who love Him and are called, He meant that. I have not had a DAY of lack, regret, or insanity. That alone would’ve been enough, however being that God is who is He, He has done exceedingly abundantly, beyond what I could ask or think.

I have a HUGE announcement coming in the next week and I want you to keep your eyes and ears tuned. You WILL NOT want to miss this. So subscribe to our email list ASAP because you will hear about it first!

I really don’t have much else to say. However, for anyone who is struggling in their encounter with divorce, regardless of stage, this what I want you to know:

God is faithful. Sit at the feet of Jesus and weep, be angry, worship, pray, whatever! Just let Him meet you in your brokenness.

There is life, even here. Your life is not over. Divorce only feels like death, it won’t kill you. Just take enough breathes to make it to the next moment and before you know it you’ll be a year out, too.

Without solid support this journey will eat you alive. Get a therapist!! Have 2-5 friends you can be brutally honest with and who have access to come to your house and check on you. Lean in to those who love you most because you need it. If you feel like you have no one who “gets it” keep following me. I have something special coming just for you.

It sounds crazy but this has been the best year of my life. I didn’t know the power and fullness of the gifts inside of me until they were set on fire by trial.

I’m not special though. I simply wanted to be healed more than I wanted anything else. I took Him at His Word and believed there could truly be beauty for ashes. If you have experienced divorce, that is your promise too!

I’m believing this next 365 includes my wedding or at least engagement (lol!) but either way, I’m on track for another amazing year as God’s favorite daughter (let’s not argue lol!).

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)
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