Why "Unless God Sent You, I'm Unavailable" is Keeping You Single
I've been seeing this T-shirt floating around the social media highway and bi-ways:
And let me tell you, it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes completely into the back of my head.
I know so many women who think it's cute and catchy, but if I'm honest, this is the attitude that has most women making more "dear future hubby" posts and getting less "Good morning" texts.
WAIT!
Before you click out of this thinking it's another blog telling women how to "get a man" it's not. Just hear me out.
Christian culture has made dating and marriage SOOO HARD!
Pastors and First Ladies alike have preached so much false theology on marriage that has been perpetuated throughout our culture, and in our collective psyches, that we almost (read: absolutely) think it's actually in the Bible.
Before we go further, let me clear this myth up for you: DATING IS NOT IN THE BIBLE!
As my sister, and fellow Girl Boss, Jennifer Trotter (@ladyinspiration) says often, dating is a social construct. So all that courtship lingo we throw around is really just us absorbing the practices of another culture, which is cool, but not Bible.
Now, what the Bible does teach us is how to love people. It teaches us how to submit to Christ and our fellow joint heirs, and it teaches us how to be husbands and wives. The Bible should INFORM our dating experience and Holy Spirit should be your guide in all things, but guess what God doesn't do? Choose our mates. We already talked about this in my post, "Three Reasons Why the One doesn't exist" so I won't rehash the facts here, but take my word for it, lol!.
While you're looking for "The One" (the perception of which is rooted in our shallow desires instead of what would actually bring about sanctification) the "The Right One" is in your face but you don't want him because he isn't wrapped in the package you imagined God sending him in.
I'll leave that at that.
Many believers, women especially, are sitting at home or timidly sitting in corners of churches hoping their forever will knock on the door, or notice them serving in children's church. However, the unfortunate truth is this....even if God did send him, you're already unavailable.
As bomb as Christian women are, our single ladies have been fed so much trash rhetoric about dating they either walk around with a chip of entitlement on their shoulders OR sit in fear and silence hoping to get "picked."
See, God may very well have put a good man on your path, however if your attitude sucks, your conversation is lacking, or your attire is whack, guess what? You WILL miss it.
Walking around thinking you're God's gift to a man will only keep you left on the shelf, sis.
Are you investing in being someone a man wants to be available to? Or should he just take you as is because you're cute and know how to shout in church?
Now, what I'm not saying is to let any ol' dusty man have access to you. No ma'am! You're not a cheap thrill. You're a creation of the Most High God bought with a price.
But so is he.
Wearing words like this on your body, or in your heart, will really only turn men away because how will you know who God has sent unless you meet him?
What you're effectively doing is disqualifying potentially good candidates because you're too scared or haughty to go through the process.
I know what you're thinking, "This will just weed out the wrong ones." Take my word for it, sis. No one wants to be with anyone who seems like they're about to throw them through the ringer.
Every man you meet won't be your husband, but by being open to experiences with good, quality men, you just may find the right one, or be found by him (for my deep folks lol)
Lastly, do we think this is really the heart of God concerning dating? What if he was this closed off to us when it came to salvation? I know dating and salvation aren't the same, but before we go putting things on our chest without second thought, consider first if the heart of God is in what is said and the way it is said.
I simply don't believe this is how God feels.
So wear the shirt, or don't. However, if you're single you should focus on giving reasons for men to approach you, not anxiety deciding if they should.
It's already hard enough in this dating game, don't make it harder on him or you.
If you want Tees that make a statement, let men know you're single, and approachable, check out our limited edition Single Phi Single Tees. They're amazing conversation starters and may just reel in the right one (charm sold separately lol)!
What do you think about statements like this? Would you wear that shirt? Why or why not? Comment and let us know! We'd love to hear from you!